A Eulogy To This Life
You wake weeping to the light and sounds of
a new day
Somewhere you've gotten lost along the stormy way
Troubles seem to roll of all the others back's, come what
may
You try to ask God for help, but you know you've no say.
For years you stay strong, always having faced
your fear
Then you realise you have lost all that you held dear
All the pain and anguish to your heart it did sear
And
the masque you wear then becomes sheer.
Looking to the four corners, you choose which
way to go
But in the end, all paths lead you back to the one you know
The hunter stands, armed, waiting to shoot this
doe
Clinging to life, you turn to run and hope that hunter's slow.
Everywhere you turn that angry hunter is there
Sometimes,
fearlessly, you stop, look, and stare
Looking into those cold and murderous eyes that just don't care
Running and hiding
it is your life you hope he will spare.
At the end, the hunter, seeing you, fires
off one round
You know your life's in danger, you heard the sound
The bullets pierces the flesh and you drop to the
ground
You hope death finds you quickly, so the spirits no longer bound.
Even though I'd had hopes to one day be your
wife
The hunter began to clean me with his uncaring knife
I can't take all this pain, I beg him to end my life
For
not another day do I want to live through this strife.
Perhaps one day I'll meet you on the other
side
For now though, it's on angels wings I do ride
Now I don't have to live in fear; I don't have to run and hide
Whoever
said that life is grand, well, they lied.
Copyright ©2004 Heather Callaway
Diablerie's Chair
Death has come for me, my love;
The darkness
and emptiness awaits.
Who can say no to the fates;
As they open up the shadowy gates,
With wing'd demons peering
from above.
In the darkness beyond I see some trees,
Snow's
falling and shrouding all life;
A frozen icicle shaped like a knife
Falls, piercing the flesh of your wife
Through
the heart, forever to freeze.
I stand in one place hoping to feel,
What
once I felt so warmly, your heart;
But now my soul's been taken apart
And mantled, a display for the black art
That
once I dabbled, the devil's deal.
Shrieking noises resound from within
As
it rips apart my tormented soul.
Looking down I see a cavernous hole;
Though my evil deeds the demons extol,
Tis
God's payment for my treacherous sin.
No light nor love will be admitted,
And
the cold is more than I can endure;
Remunerations pain, there's no cure;
Eternities suffering they wish to ensure,
So
in hell's where my souls forever committed.
I stand at the foot of the abysmal hollow;
I'm
wanting the torture I feel to end.
Jumping without thought, it's my soul to send
To the bottom of this cavern, I choose
to rend
My soul from the evils that now are soon to follow.
There is no escape from my evil deeds,
As
now, I feel all that in my past I've done;
All the anguish and torment, sparing none,
They cast upon me, and now they've
won,
For now they've planted their wicked seeds.
Everything that once was me, is no more;
I've
found a home in the heart of a serpent,
For long last, I'd found the heart absent,
Void of all pain and sorrow, only
allicient
My evil ways to it's own bloody core.
It's no longer my will keeping me there;
They've
captured all that I've felt, cornered in guilt,
Voluntarily I allow the blossoms of my heart to wilt
In this void and
wintry hell that they've built,
As I take my seat on the diablerie chair.
Copyright ©2004 Heather Callaway
Giving Up
The tumultuous storms are passing through
my soul,
Dark foreboding clouds are hanging over my head;
A razor cuts through me creating an abysmal hole,
One that
could never be filled, I'm the walking dead.
Fuck this world that's only brought me misery
and pain,
There's nowhere left to turn in this hell that's been created;
All emotions have to be flushed down that spiritual
drain,
Hoping to lighten this heart that's been heavily weighted.
Time's moving so slow that one might think
it's stood still,
I can't move from the past and into what's to be the 'now;'
Everything is so fucked up and I've no
longer got a will,
I wish I could change everyones’ heart, but I don't know how.
Think that I'm destined to remain forever
in this isolation,
Never finding peace within, living in perpetual damnation,
I am searching my eternal soul in fervent
desperation,
For it’s the only way to remove me from this baneful situation.
The light that shone has ceased to flourish
in my life,
Leaving only a sense of dread that cannot be shed,
Now the insufferable pain is nothing but a searing knife,
Cutting
away my happiness until all that I love is dead.
Demons are standing at the gates to this intolerable
hell
They welcome me into this wicked den of pain and fear;
My bare feet walk upon the fires as I enter the barred cell,
Locking
the door behind me, and I accept this without a tear.
Can I suffer through all this agonizing pain
and torment?
Will I be able to persevere through the suffering felt this night?
Is it the loss of my eternal soul that
I'm forever to lament?
Will I ever find it within myself to stand and put up a fight?
God has abandoned me and does not hear my
plea,
So now I see that there's no other way for me;
I'm giving up my life, so that I can be eternally free,
Slashing
my wrists, my blood soaks the mighty oak tree.
Copyright ©2005 Heather Callaway
Falling Walls
The greyish stone mass that was erected,
Looked stronger
than any fortress ever seen;
Now a blanket covers it, painted all in green,
One would say that it has been neglected.
The stones began to crumble into powdery ash,
Bound
together only by the tight woven moss;
Requiescat in pace engraved in stone for it’s loss,
And now is nothing
more than a mere storm sash.
The storms are infrequent, but are violent still,
Protection
is needed, so I stand within the walls
Meandering through the forts colossal halls,
Hoping that it’s not me the
storm is going to kill.
The wind and the rain have battered the stones,
I
see these wide apertures beginning to form
As they cannot hold up to the puissant storm,
I feel the chill pierce straight
through my bones.
Fervently I sought a thing to bar the iniquitous flood,
But
the Gods deemed me fit for a daunting task;
My eyes cannot face this evil adorned with a mask,
So I slash my wrists,
hoping to drain all my blood.
Copyright ©2005 Heather Callaway
